3 Things Your Mom Told You That Don’t Apply in Hospitality

Picture this.

You’re 17 years old and you’re about to go out with your friends. Right when you’re coming down the stairs you hear your mom say “Don’t forget your jacket! It’s gonna be cold!”. You whisper a short “uuuuuugh” but you turn back to grab one.

Well, we all know that she was right.

There are 3 things though, that I’m pretty sure our moms have said to us before and that don’t necessarily apply in the world of hospitality.

Here we go.

“Don’t talk to strangers.”

When we’re kids, it makes sense that we’re told not to talk to strangers right? Strangers represented danger.

But as we grow up, we learn that strangers represent new friends, partners, bosses, investors, etc.

In hospitality (as in pretty much any other industry) we all begin as strangers. It’s a clean slate for you and for everyone you’ll meet.

You see, meeting strangers has amazing power. The power of connecting and finding out how much we’re all alike. How we all go through struggles, ups, and downs, and how we somehow always end up meeting the right people.

The truth is, when it comes to working in hospitality, talk to as many strangers as you can!

Ask more questions and dig a little deeper.

Find out why your guest looks upset, why your coworker got in late, or why your boss seems to be having a bad day.

We’re always one conversation away from being strangers to becoming friends.

“Don’t go too far, okay?”

This one is a classic.

Your mom probably said this one to you while you were riding your bicycle for the first time and you wanted to feel independent and free. Or maybe it was when you just got your license and were driving the car with your friends exploring the city for the first time.

I know that moms say this with the purest love because they want to protect us. “Going too far” when we were little represented, again, danger. The unknown.

But when you work in hospitality, make sure you go as far as you can. Go for that scholarship, go for that dream job, go for that new adventure in a different country.

And once you’re there, go the extra mile. For yourself and the people around you. Maybe it’s you learning more about a dish so you can present it better to the guest. Maybe it’s you learning a few words in a different language so you can speak to your new coworker. Maybe it’s simply smiling more often.

Working in hospitality gives you the chance to go as far as you can every single day.

It’s up to you how far you wanna go.

“What part of no don’t you understand?”

I get it. When we’re kids, we always wanna have it our way. We want the newest toy, we want to play all day and eat cake instead of veggies.

Not getting what we want teaches us that things don’t always go our way. And that’s okay. That’s simply the way life works. But when we grow up, we learn that rejection is a re-direction.

You didn’t get the job you wanted because it turned out you needed to move to meet your spouse. Or maybe you had to go through some “nos” to get the one “yes” of somebody who believed in you.

When we hear the word “no” as an answer, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road. It simply means we’re on the wrong one.

That’s why I learned that every time I experienced a rejection for a project, a job, or an opportunity, it simply meant I had to make a left instead of making a right.

And guess what? The right things have always found me.

So remember, if you work in hospitality:

Talk to as many strangers as you can, go as far as you want to go, and know that a “no” for an answer is always a re-direction.

“What Does Hospitality Mean To You?”

You know when it’s the first day of college and teachers ask you why chose your career? Well, when they asked me, “What does hospitality mean to you”? the first thing I thought was that it meant making anyone and everyone feel at home. Making people feel welcomed, and being able to create an experience for them. It meant turning someone’s dreams into reality.

That’s one of the reasons why hospitality caught my eye when I was choosing my career. I’ve always been interested in a ton of different stuff, but I felt like hospitality had it all. It wasn’t like I was studying for a test or to get a good grade, I learned things that excited me and inspired me. It was like reading a magazine or my favorite book! I got into it because it was my passion. And once I stepped into “the real world” and worked in a hospitality business, I realized I made the right choice.

So back to my answer to the question, it’s crazy how even today (8 years later), that definition has stayed the same to me. If anything, it has made it more real than ever.

I’ve come to learn that the true meaning of hospitality is being kind. Being emphatic. And I’m not only talking about being kind towards the guests and customers, I’m talking about being kind to everyone we meet.

No matter where you work in hospitality, you’ll soon realize that teamwork is really one of the keys to success. It’s like we’re all pieces of one big puzzle. Try doing a puzzle without a couple of pieces. Not the same right? Without one another, we wouldn’t be able to get the same result: creating the best experience for the guest.

A kitchen won’t get to present beautiful and delicious dishes to the guests when there are no clean plates or silverware. Dishwashers don’t have anything to clean if servers and bussers don’t bring everything to them in a timely manner. Service is not gonna run well without a manager or a host leading the pace and making sure people are accommodated. Customers might not come back if their server didn’t provide great service and made sure they had a good time.

See what I mean? There’s beauty in a smooth, well-run service. And believe me, I know that no service can be perfect, but when you work like a well-oiled machine, you can solve any problems that come your way. Teamwork really makes the dream work.

Working in hospitality also means paying attention. To details. To the people around you. To reading the atmosphere and someone’s body language. It means anticipating someone’s needs. It means making magic with the little things.

As many of you in this industry might know, attitude is contagious. How you greet your coworkers and the people around you. How you set the tables and prep for your shift. How you smile and get to know your guest. It all matters.

When you’re on the other side of the table being a customer or a guest somewhere else, you notice all these things. You become more mindful of the process and the effort that it takes to create a great experience.

Working in hospitality makes you step into someone else’s shoes for a minute and understand their perspective. It reminds you that we’re all human. We might be having a bad day, we might be stressed, or sad, or we might be celebrating a special occasion. The thing is, you never know the story behind a person. The story behind your coworker, your boss, or your guest.

That’s why this industry has taught me that being kind is the key to connecting with people. Being kind has the power to turn around someone’s day. It doesn’t matter where you work, what you do, or if you had any previous experience. What matters is your passion for what you do and how you treat people. Every other skill can be learned, but wearing your heart on your sleeve comes naturally.

More than an industry, hospitality to me it’s an attitude. A feeling.

A feeling of being home.

Bartenders, The Hidden Gems of The Show.

“Bartender, the usual”, “Make it special”, “Wow, this is my new favorite drink”. Have you ever said one of these to a bartender before? Because I have.

Amy once made the best espresso martini I’ve ever had, and I’d like to share a little bit of her story and tell you why bartenders are the hidden gems of the show. 

Meet Amy. She’s been bartending for over 20 years in many different styles of bars. You wanna know how she started? She fell into it by accident! Who would’ve thought that years later she would become a professional and passionate bartender?

She was helping at a bar and grill casino and she would ask bartenders what was the difference in spirits, flavor profiles, etc. To her surprise, most of them had no idea, so she decided to teach herself to be able to answer those questions. She "lied" and said she had the experience but hey, we all learn how to swim when we get thrown in the water right? And as many of us have done it before, she decided to go for it and applied for a bartender position.

“When you pour drinks, you have the opportunity to tell a story using another person’s art. You're starting a journey of history, geography, agriculture, chemistry, flavor, and creativity just to name a few. You get to share your passion with a person you never speak to and thousands that you do. Bartenders get to be on stage every night and I’m so lucky to be part of the show.”

Amy also shared four things that she considers the most rewarding part of being a bartender, and here they are.

“The first is actually seeing something that you created on a cocktail menu. The second one is the opportunity you get to not only interact with the guest but also to introduce them to something they have never tried before. Opening their eyes to different wines, and spirits. Crafting something that they can’t get anywhere else. The third one is working with the servers and the rest of the team. I like to be able to give them something extra that they can share with their guests and have the opportunity to not only make more money but to talk about something interesting tableside. And finally, the fourth one is playing off other bartenders and getting to experiment.”

This is why bartenders are the hidden gems of the show. When you go out and order a drink, there’s a person behind it who thought of the best way to make you happy with it. They want to surprise you, delight you, and make you love the drink.

There’s art in mixology. In crafting a beverage that is going to not only taste delicious but it’s going to compliment your meal.

It’s all teamwork. We’re all part of the show. Chefs, cooks, servers, bartenders, sommeliers, hosts, dishwashers, and bussers. We all come together to create the best experience for you.

“The hardest challenge for me personally, is trying to get people to stop ordering canned seltzer at a bar. You have a full bar, have fun! It’s like going to a fine dining restaurant and ordering chicken fingers.”

Amy, you couldn't have said it better.

Next time you go out, think about the person that’s behind the bar. Try something different. Ask them questions.

And, don’t order “chicken fingers”!